Saturday, July 23, 2011

Step away from the light switch!

Yes, that's right.  
My finger has been tightly pressed against the light switch.  
With all my might I have been trying to keep it there. 
Not a "real" light switch, mind you.  
But a spiritual one. 

You know what I am talking about.  
I bet many of you right now have one hand on the computer and one hand stretched out trying to keep your grubby little finger on that switch.  
Taking that finger off would mean change. 
It would mean hard work and discipline. 
It would mean letting God take control.
And GASP...... 
It would mean not being able to eat everything you want.

My finger has been on that light switch since around March.
I even have a dimmer switch.
You know.
I started just slowly sliding that dimmer down.
One little bite here.
One little bite there.
Gotta taste the organic mac & cheese my kids are eating, right?
After all, I went over 6 whole months without taking a bite of anything that was not on the list. 
(Ok- with the exception of those few stinking mini's at Halloween. Satan made me do it!)
As my finger was sliding the dimmer, the darkness was starting to set it.
The fatigue started coming back.
The cravings so strong I was unable to resist.
My mood became more...well...moody.
As the dimmer switch continued down
my motivation to do anything went with it.

One year ago today I started this journey.  
It has not been easy.  
I did not like being in the desert.
Not too many people do.

I successfully accomplished my goal.
It took oh, about 4,239 hours longer than I wanted it to!
My spit floated.
It was a joyous day.
I got a lovely massage.

Then it happened.
The one little bite here.
The "ok, that won't hurt to eat just one".
I can handle eating pizza now.
I can eat a "real" hamburger now.
I am still in control.
A donut won't hurt.
For pete sake, it is a birthday.
Eating cake is what you do on birthdays.
I don't want to make everyone go to Jason's Deli again.
I'll get right back on it tomorrow.

All you professional dieters know what I am talking about.
"I'd better eat it today, cause tomorrow I have to start over and I will NEVER get to eat this again!"
It's that black and white?
So we gorge ourselves to satisfy our cravings with all intent of NEVER eating those foods again.
Because remember.....
We are starting over tomorrow!

But tomorrow never happens.
The cycle has started over again.
Feel miserable.
Feel guilty.
Get depressed.
Feel miserable.
Feel guilty.
Get depressed.

Raise your hand if you know what I am saying here!  
Can you relate?  
Thought so.

So what does a light switch have to do with all this?
It's our spiritual light switch.
God so wants us to be in the light.
He does not want us to be in darkness.
But you know what I discovered?
Sometimes being in the dark is easier.
If I take my finger off the switch and let God turn the light on....
I will have to change.
I will have to start eating yeast free again.
Oh, how much He wants to have me in light.
Not darkness!
Quite frankly, if I stay in the darkness I can just stay in bed.
I don't have to take responsibility for as much.
I don't want to take my finger off that switch!  
I have gotten somewhat comfortable in the dark.
Oh, don't get me wrong.
I am totally miserable right now.
I have gained 15 of the 35 pounds back.
My clothes are tight.
I am bloated all the time.
My joints hurt again.
My IBS is returning.
I am tired all the time.
But I don't have to work hard at being miserable!
It's easy!

But it's no way to live.  It's NOT how God designed us to live.

I must remove my finger from the light switch and allow God to reclaim control of my life.  
If left to my own devices.....I will choose food.
My flesh will battle to the end for food.

I have to take my finger off the switch. 
God is not going to force me to do it.

Is your finger holding down the switch so tightly?
Are you stuck in the darkness?
Are you miserable like I am?
If you are struggling to get out of the darkness......
join me in 

Slowly take your finger and start moving the dimmer UP.  
Let the light start to shine again.

God never created us to be under slavery to food or illness. 

He wants to set us free.

He is waiting to set you free.

He is longing to set me free.

I have to make the first move.

I have to move my finger off the switch so I can get out of the darkness.

The light may be hard to deal with at first.

It seems like bondage again having to go back to the desert.
I have been there now!
I KNOW how hard it is to stay on a yeast free diet.
I also know that my God loves me enough to not let me go back to where I came from.
He provided me with immeasurable strength for over 6 months.

He will do it again.

If I let Him.

Today is a new day.  Just like last year on this day, I started yeast free again.
I need to cleanse my body of what I have put in it since March.

I have to go to the desert again.

But that's ok.

I have been there before.

And my Father will be with me the whole way.


Cherilynne said...

Karen-Thank you for this post! I'm on day TWO of a strict 30-day fructose-free diet to try to figure out my IBS issues and get them under control. This is exactly the visual I needed to help me stay on track!

You have done an amazing job thus far (think about where you would be if not for the majority of past 365 days!!) I am thoroughly impressed and will be thinking of you every time I think about giving in to the cravings! Thank you for your inspiration!

Karen Bundy Barlow said...

I saw that on FB! All I can say is that if I can do yeast free for 6 months- you can do anything for 30 days! If the fructose free diet helps but doesn't cure your IBS you might want to consider yeast free. I had IBS for 20 years and after doing this diet it was completely gone. I have only recently started having a few small issues again since I went off the diet.

God gave me the light switch visual just a few days ago. I NEED visuals!

Praying for your belly! I know how miserable that can be. Praying for strength for you when those cravings hit...and they WILL hit...hard...but push through them. It's so much better on the other side. Now I have to work on getting myself back to the other side! But I am never alone!